As I rushed to the hospital a couple of nights ago, my wife saying “ Wake up Kellie, wake up, don’t go to sleep honey.” And my one year old daughter with her eyes rolling back in her head and her body hot and convulsing, I was in a state of EXTREME fear. Just writing about it brings tears to my eyes and a pain in my chest.
Kellie had been sick for a few days. At first she had a temperature but no other symptoms and we thought that maybe it was brought on by her new teeth coming through. The second night she got very hot and we took her to the doctor the next morning. He gave her medicine and said to take her to the lab for blood tests if she was still hot in 24 hours. We gave her the medicine and her temperature went down, she sleep through the afternoon and awoke seeming much better.
That night, we gave her another dose of medicine and within 30 minutes she was shaking and looking seriously unwell. My first thought was that she had a reaction to the medication. We jumped in the car and sped to the hospital.
My mind was racing and I was praying desperately in my head. I started to think “ What have I done to cause this ? Please God, help us ! Help my baby ! I’ll do anything Lord, please, please, please !”
I know we are no longer under the consequences of our sins. I know that we do not suffer God’s wrath when we do wrong. I know my baby wasn’t sick because I was being punished. BUT, I took a very quick stock of my life that night and it gave me a new determination to rid my life of all that is not pleasing to God.
You don’t realize that the ‘weeds’ have crept in. Slowly, over time, you compromise your walk with God. Little things become ok. You justify them to yourself….I do right in so much of my life, a few little sins here and there are ok.
I want to get a tattoo “16/2/09” so I can remember the fear that I felt that night. So when I lose perspective, I can recall that all that matters to me is living right by God. Not because I am scared He will punish me if I don’t but because it is the only life worth living.
All my thanks and praise to God that Kellie seems to be getting better BUT I still pray “ Not my will but His” If something does happen to me or one of my family, I will be crushed but I want to be so close to God and so right with Him that there is no chance I will be ripped away or pull myself away from Him.
Don’t let sin create a buffer between you and God.
God Bless You, gef