(I suggest you read ‘It’s Amazing What God Will Give You If You Ask’ and A Follow Up to ‘It’s Amazing What God Will Give You If You Ask’ before reading this post. They’re lower down. If you don’t I hope you get something anyway. GBU)
Not only is it not about how it feels but I also know from personal experience that God works even when we think things aren’t working. My wife’s grandfather belonged to a religion called ‘Jawi Wetan’ for most of his 70 odd years. It is similar to Buddhism in ways. He and the other people from his temple would spend the whole night meditating a few nights a week. When someone got sick or moved house or had a baby, they would meditate.
In his late 70’s he got sick and received Jesus. When he recovered he would come to church with my wife and I. Two years later, he died. I am very aware that my wife’s grandmother, who still belongs to that religion, who we convinced to come into the church instead of waiting in the car when I preached, could have been the major work God was doing on Sunday.
It happened once before, we held a retreat in 2007 and one of my wife’s cousins came to play keyboard even though he was a Muslim. He came again in 2008. After the 2008 retreat, my friend Jos and I got together to evaluate things and decided that the money we spent on the retreat could have been better spent on school fees. Long story short, then we found out that Krisma (my wife’s cousin) accepted Jesus a few days after the retreat. We are now praying and getting ready for the 2010 retreat.
Just remember it is not about you J I’ll leave you with what mother Teresa said when a reported asked her “You have had success serving so many people in India and yet there are still so many people around the world you haven’t reached, do you feel like you have failed?”
“I wasn’t called to be successful, I was called to be obedient”